We finish February with our once a month fun post, rather than our regular formal posts providing interview tips and advice on such topics as how to write cover-letters that help you become a more employable candidate. Having a sense of humor is important, irrespective of the economic conditions that surround us, so following up on last month’s post 5 previous jobs of the rich and famous today we take a humorous look at 10 things you would love to say to your boss but can’t, primarily because you need to keep your job of course.

 1. Come in at the weekend? You must be joking, you are lucky to have me from Monday to Friday as it is.

 2. You’re going to need someone to cover for me I’m heading home early today to go for a few drinks with my mates.

 3. Shall I run over to the store and get you some breath mints?

 4. How about when it suits me? Does when it suits me work well for you?

 5. Don’t bother giving me a deadline, we both know I’ll have it done when I’m good and ready.

 6. Is your train of thought shut down for repairs?

 7. I’m not sure what you are trying to say but either way I will treat it with the same meandering indifference as I do all your ideas.

 8. I have a job interview in the morning so expect me when you see me.

 9. Yeah, it ain’t gonna happen boss, I forgot all about it.

10. How about you get the coffee for a change. 

Hopefully that provided you with a smile, next week we return to serious business with a post on how to sell yourself during a job interview, in the meantime no matter how tempted you are, make sure you don’t say any of those lines to your boss or you may find yourself looking for a new job sooner rather than later.

Advice For Lunch Interviews.

Sometimes when you get to the serious end of the interview discussions such as after a second or third interview, the company who is hiring may invite you to meet for lunch or dinner, this news should be welcomed as it is a sign that you are a genuine contender for the role. However this type of interview should be treated with just as much seriousness as a first-round interview, so it is worth reading this previous post on a job interview checklist.   

If you perform poorly during a lunch interview then serious harm will be done to your credibility as a possible employee. The 6 tips outlined below will help whet your appetite for the interview and serve as a guide on how to perform well during this kind of interview.                                      

1. Avoid messy food.

A dinner/lunch interview is not the time to order awkward food to eat, so avoid food like tacos, spaghetti or stews and instead focus on food that you don’t run the risk of spilling on your shirt.

2. Mind your manners.

Refrain from speaking when you are in the middle of eating something, even if you are asked a question, finish eating before answering. The interviewer will far prefer the short delay rather than being given a close-up of your half-chewed food. Along a similar vein try to ensure that you have your mouth closed while eating and avoid slurping your drink/soup.

3. Be polite.

Your communication skills will be scrutinized by the interviewer particularly in relation to waiters and staff so ensure you show common courtesy at all times to prove to the interviewer that you have what it takes to work well with other employees.

4. Avoid distractions.

Have your cell-phone switched off or put in on silent, a business lunch is most definitely not the time to be sending text-messages or receiving /making calls.

5. The bill.

Most job seekers are unsure who should pay, the rule of thumb is the person who invited the other to lunch and that is usually the interviewer. As a matter of courtesy do offer to pay, once the interviewer declines your offer, politely thank him/her for the meal.

6. Send a thank-you note.

Following your lunch interview be sure to avail of the opportunity to send the interviewer a thank-you note. As with all thank-you letters make sure you emphasize your interest in the job in the letter and thank the interviewer for his/her time.

Don’t allow the fact that you have progressed to this stage of interview cloud your judgement, as over-confidence will not stand you in good stead with the interviewer, it will have the opposite effect. The tips provided in this post work equally well for dinner interviews so keep them in mind should you have any meal-related job interview.

Interview mistakes have been highlighted in a previous post The Top 5 Interview Mistakes And How To Avoid Them, continuing on that theme today we investigate further into interview mistakes to see what you need to be mindful of when attending job interviews.

• Watching the clock.
  Most interviewers are appreciative of anyone who takes time from their working day to attend interviews. If you are constantly checking your watch during the interview, this might hint to the interviewer that you would rather be elsewhere, so rather than showing the interviewer that you have an interest in the job you are in fact doing quite the opposite.

• Using crude language.
  Using bad language /swear words in a job interview will severely damage any chance you have of getting the job so keep your language professional and controlled throughout the interview process.

• Trying to speak over the interviewer.
  Make sure you allow the interviewer time to complete each question that he/she is asking, don’t guess the question and start speaking whilst the interviewer is speaking as you may be answering the wrong question altogether, not too mention that it shows a lack of courtesy towards the interviewer.

• Asking inappropriate questions during the interview.
  Intelligent questions related to the job or company is what is expected of you, if you ask questions that blatantly display that you have failed to do research on the company will alienate you from the interviewer and harm your chances of getting the job.

• Being critical of past employers.
  In the interview you should focus on communicating how you can add value to the business not criticizing past employers, as this may lead the interviewer to believe you have a poor attitude thus ending your chance of getting hired.

If you make a simple mistake during an interview such as get dates wrong or be unable to give a satisfactory answer (in your mind) to the question asked try not to get too flustered, instead continue on with your interview in a composed manner, and be sure to send a follow-up thank you letter after the interview.

When turning down a job offer it is important to understand how to decline a job offer with courtesy as in the future you may see another job with that company that interests you or it may simply be because you change your mind over which offer to accept, either way, respect should be taken with your reply to their job offer.

Before you make a decision to decline the job offer you need to give careful consideration that you are doing the right thing, once you have reached that stage then it is time to get in touch with the other company to inform them of your decision. The sooner you do this the better, from the company’s perspective, as they can then offer the job to their second-choice candidate.

Begin the process by calling the HR Department and thanking them for their offer before telling them that unfortunately you will not be accepting the role.

Following your call, the employer will appreciate it if you take the time write a letter /email explaining why you turned the role down. Here are some tips for what to say in your letter:

- once again thank the company for their interest in you.

- mention how impressed you were with both the staff and the organization.

- describe how it was a very difficult decision that you had to make.

- refer to the reasons why you accepted the other offer.

- offer your best wishes to both the individual and to the company.

Maintaining a professional attitude is important so do not criticize or show a lack of respect in your decline letter as burning bridges with the company may end up costing you in the long run. Finally before sending your letter make sure to check it for spelling and grammar errors to portray a consistency in your professionalism.