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I sat with my anger long enough. Until she told me her name was Grief ......

Updated: Apr 3

One of my friends texted me and said ..... "I fear what twist you are going to make on this post" ha ha. She isn't wrong .......


The stages of Loss/Grief are so similar in almost every kind of loss. (Job Loss /Friendship /Divorce /etc.)

Denial

Anger

Depression

Acceptance

Moving forward

or some variation of this.

Death excluded as that is taking things to a whole different level.


However, when I would sit with my anger I tried really hard to find the learnings ….. there are always learnings when you are in the middle of a “shit show”. Those of you that know me, I quickly try to find the humor in most of my chaos. It really does make it acceptable and gets me past the grief and onto moving forward. I am lucky that Murray has been in a lot of the situations I seem to get into and is my sounding board and kicks me back into myself, if I stay too long in the loss. Find someone that does that for you. That person needs to be pretty blunt, and not a person that goes along with everything you say. You need honest feedback. A safe zone. Every once and a while I will pop back to the dark side and grieve for a loss, but those times get shorter and less sad …… more reflective and nostalgic. That is a good sign.

If you have been laid off, you need to self reflect and set yourself up for success going forward. There are some situations where you were in the wrong place at the wrong time and it just did not matter what type of a performer you were. The industry and your role in the organization were not going to be in their future. This is probably the hardest to come to terms with, as you had no control over the situation. Anger in this situation is normal but you need to push past it by accepting you had no control. Because you did nothing wrong it is harder to figure out what you need to do differently. It requires a different set of question to ask yourself:

· Is there a future role doing what I am trained for?

· Do I need to switch industries?

· Do I need to go back to school/get training to shift into another field?

· Is my location hampering my employment?

· Are their business/entrepreneur avenues for me? (I highly recommend this one)


There are a ton of opportunities for anyone looking at starting a business and some of the fastest growing markets have to do with senior’s services. Clothing stores/craft vendors should make a monthly/quarterly trip to Senior Homes with some samples and do-little fashion shows and let them see and try on the clothes/do a craft/etc. Also, the recreation market is ripe with opportunities. Bike shops are overwhelmed with the demand and servicing is backed up until September in Calgary. It will come to smaller centers soooooonn. These are not fads; these are lifestyle changes that are here to stay. Rental/Leasing recreational equipment is growing madly! Also, nostalgist opportunities are huge. Delivery is also crazy. Why not partner with a bakery to make a special bread of the day that is only available by subscription and it is delivered to your home every other day? Maybe you partner with a Restaurant to set up a meal subscription that is delivered to you twice a week with the bread and maybe wine? Get the idea? People are looking for ways to focus on what is important to them and so these small services can allow them to spend time with their family more. I could go on, but you get the idea.

Back to being Laid Off - Other times the company took the opportunity to cut some lower performing staff, and that is hard to admit, if you think that applies to you. However, if you do think that, then you have a step up on figuring out how to fix it, don't you? You might be mad/angry at yourself for not working harder/missing too much time /not getting along with your coworkers, etc. but you can change your behaviours ....... stop the denial and commit to doing better and making this an opportunity. People change, I have seen it and believe it. I will give people second chances, so will most.

People that know me understand that I am not a "wallower" and want to encourage you not to be one as well. Doing the right thing is never wrong ....... even when others involved spin the story in another manner. You cannot fix people like that ....... you just learn from them and eradicate them from your world.


Forgive them ....... but do not tell them, the forgiveness is for you not them. Damaged people will enter your life and you need to follow your instinct, the times when I did not go with my instinct were always a disaster.


When you are in business and especially a woman in a smaller town, eyes are on you and a lot of those eyes are a bit "curious" as to what I would do when I encountered challenges and disaster. Yes, some of the situations that I had could be classified as disasters. No one was harder on me than me. I basically would throw myself on the sword and puke out the truth and deal with the outcome. Trust me, it is the way to do things. I have never regretting doing this.

If we dropped the ball, we admitted, we dropped the ball and I always put myself in front of the chaos so that the buck stopped with me. I do not like excuses, I like changes and new resolves and setting things up so that does not happen again. Am I extra cautious .......? Hell Yes, I just publicly failed!!!! (publicly could mean me and a business manager but people talk and so what you hope might be limited to 4 or 5 people turns into 20 really fast). Also fun, is when everyone thinks they could do better but don’t have the balls to start their own gig ….. and think they understand. Nope, you do not.


I give a high 5 to every friggin business owner right now, wow you are incredible and I can not imagine your strength and stress. Your ability to pivot and survive this last year has been nothing short of amazing to watch. Your come back will be just as awesome to watch.


When I thought about doing this blog I really worried about people feeling sorry for me in some of the situation I may have gotten into …… do not ever feel sorry for me. I have had a ton of fun and learnt soooo much! I am a learning junkie …… this blog is just a way to share some of my learnings and MAYBE they might help others.






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